


MING9

by douxii



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Attempt at Humor, Bad Jokes, Chaos, Crack, Eventual Plot, M/M, Mutual Pining, Some Plot, Texting, chat fic, it becomes a Mess, nct make appearances, no minors were sexualized in the making of this chat fic, overused jokes, slight sexual jokes, uwu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-05-01 06:20:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 8,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14514375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/douxii/pseuds/douxii
Summary: furlix has added bangchan, CertifiedMom™, and 6 others to the group chatfurlix has changed the group chat name to them stray kiddosfurlix: the deed has been donebangchan: oh no[ON HIATUS] :^(





	1. σηє

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chittychittybangbang: jeongin just said y’all guys this is pretty intense
> 
> chittychittybangbang: like a circus
> 
> chittychittybangbang: badum tss
> 
> leeminnow: chan’s already begun making dad jokes everyone abort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usernames:
> 
> chan: bangchan
> 
> woojin: CertifiedMom™
> 
> minho: leeminnow
> 
> changbin: binniebinnie
> 
> hyunjin: prettyjin
> 
> jisung: squarrel
> 
> felix: furlix
> 
> seungmin: seunggles
> 
> jeongin: maknaehyung

**furlix** has added **bangchan** , **CertifiedMom™** , and 6 others to the group chat

 

 **furlix** has changed the group chat name to **them stray kiddos**

 

 **furlix** : the deed has been done

 

 **bangchan** : oh no

 

 **squarrel** : ew chan your screen name is so boring

 

 **bangchan** : are you trying to say that squarrel is any better

 **bangchan** : tf even is a squarrel

 

 **squarrel** : that’s irrelevant

 

 **seunggles** has changed **bangchan** ’s name to **chittychittybangbang**

 

 **furlix** : RKFSHKFHKSJ SEUNMGIN

 

 **seunggles** : uwu

 

 **chittychittybangbang** : i’m blocking you

 **chittychittybangbang** : and disowning you

 **chittychittybangbang** : say hello to Life on the Streets

 **chittychittybangbang** : felix you too

 

 **furlix** : wAIT WHAT DID I DO

 

 **CertifiedMom™** : i say we just disown all of them

 **CertifiedMom™** : sans jeongin of course but that’s a given

 

 **chittychittybangbang** : agreed

 

 **maknaehyung** : uwu

 

 **prettyjin** : wait jeongin

 **prettyjin** : why are you maknae _hyung_

 **prettyjin** : that doesn’t even make sense

 

 **maknaehyung** : because i may be the youngest but i’m sure as hell more mature than all of y’all

 

 **chittychittybangbang** : jeongin just said y’all guys this is pretty intense

 **chittychittybangbang** : like a circus

 **chittychittybangbang** : badum tss

 

 **leeminnow** : chan’s already begun making dad jokes everyone abort

 

 **CertifiedMom™** : i’m divorcing you

 

 **chittychittybangbang** : but without you i wouldn’t even be a dad **distressed emoji**

 

 **furlix** : while we’re talking about changbin

 

 **prettyjin** : we weren’t

 

 **furlix** : y’all have you seen changbin’s biceps

 

 **maknaehyung** : pls don’t

 

 **furlix** :

**furlix** : jfc just husband me already

 

 **binniebinnie** has left the group chat

 

 **prettyjin** has invited **binniebinnie** to the group chat

 

 **prettyjin** : where tf do you think you’re going

 **prettyjin** : we all suffer together

 **prettyjin** : we’re all in this togETHER

 

 **seunggles** : like a family

 

 **prettyjin** : i wouldn’t go that far

 

 **binniebinnie** : let me live

 **binniebinnie** : this is rape

 

 **leeminnow** : are you sure it isn’t consensual rape because last time i checked you and felix were in a Serious Relationship

 

 **binniebinnie** : felix??? Is that a sauce??????

 

 **furlix** : owie :^(

 

 **binniebinnie** : ugh

 **binniebinnie** : you’re a dumbass but ig ily

 **binniebinnie** : for some reason

 

 **furlix** : HSKFSH CHANGBIN ILYYYY

 

 **prettyjin** : gross

 

 **furlix** : you’re just jealous **huffing emoji**

 **furlix** : that you don’t have a love like ours **sneezing emoji**

 

 **prettyjin** : i’m pretty sure i have a love much stronger

 

 **seunggles** : who????

 

 **prettyjin** : myself uwu

 **prettyjin** : couldn’t find anyone better uwu

 

 **seunggles** : oh

 

 **squarrel** : ‘oh’

 

 **seunggles** : ?

 

 **squarrel** : nothing ^u^

 

 **leeminnow** : oh shit i forgot jisung existed

 

 **squarrel** : wow, really feeling the love hyung

 

 **chittychittybangbang** : jisung actually shut up for more than 0.9 seconds???

 

 **squarrel** : i breathed

 

 **chittychittybangbang** : see

 **chittychittybangbang** : you just don’t shut up do you

 

 **squarrel** : :^(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is based off a crackhead ass group chat i'm in so hold your peEns, we're goin on a riDE


	2. тωσ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> maknaehyung: felix hyung what does your screen name mean
> 
>  
> 
> furlix: purrrr
> 
>  
> 
> pettyjin: it means felix is a furry
> 
> pettyjin: the f in felix stands for furry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usernames:  
> chan: chittychittybangbang  
> woojin: CertifiedMom™  
> minho: leeminnow  
> changbin: binniebinnie  
> hyunjin: prettyjin  
> jisung: squarrel  
> felix: furlix  
> seungmin: seunggles  
> jeongin: maknaehyung

**maknaehyung** : seungmin hyung, i'm curious. what does your screen name mean?

 

 **seunggles** : it's like snuggles

 **seunggles** : but seunggles

 

 **prettyjin** : **clapping emoji** wonderful explanation

 

 **leeminnow** : why so petty

 

 **prettyjin** : it's in my nature

 

 **seunggles** has changed **prettyjin** 's name to **pettyjin**

 

 **furlix** : wait but what's the difference

 **furlix** : isn't the new name the same as the original???

 

 **chittychittybangbang** : i

 **chittychittybangbang** : you're such a dumbass i swear to god

 

 **binniebinnie** : hey no one else can call felix a dumbass except for me

 **binniebinnie** : felix you're such a dumbass i swear to god

 

 **furlix** : :^(

 

 **maknaehyung** : felix hyung what does your screen name mean

 

 **furlix** : purrrr

 

 **pettyjin** : it means felix is a furry

 **pettyjin** : the f in felix stands for furry

 

 **furlix** : that is a very unsupported claim

 

 **pettyjin** :

 

 **furlix** : i stand corrected

 

 **furlix** has changed their name to **furrylix**

 

 **squarrel** : did felix just confirm that he's a furry

 

 **maknaehyung** : you're a furry too shut your fuck up squirrel boy

 

 **CertifiedMom™** : jeongin nO

 

 **maknaehyung** : uwu

 

 **leeminnow** : do you even know what a furry is, jeongin?

 

 **maknaehyung** : you're irrelevant

 

 **squarrel** : wait minho hyung has an animal in his name too

 **squarrel** : but it's a fish

 **squarrel** : would that make him a scaley

 

 **leeminnow** : i'm breaking up with you

 

 **squarrel** : :^((

 

 **chittychittybangbang** : uh anyways moving on

 

 **furrylix** : DID YOU KNOW THERE'S A KINK FOR BEING PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS

 

 **chittychittybangbang** : this conversation topic isn't any better

 

 **binniebinnie** : i must have that kink because i'd love to push you down the stairs

 

 **furrylix** : suddenly i agree with chan hyung

 

 **CertifiedMom™** : felix it's 3am why are you awake

 

 **furrylix** : i was researching important facts

 

 **CertifiedMom™** : and suddenly

 **CertifiedMom™** : POOF

 **CertifiedMom™** : felix no longer had wifi

 

 **pettyjin** : are we going to ignore the fact that felix just said he was researching about climacophilia and called it an """important fact"""

 

 **leeminnow** : no one said anything about climacophilia

 

 **squarrel** : are you implying that hyunjin hyung knows that name of that kink i

 

 **pettyjin** : ,,,,,,

 

 **pettyjin** has left the group chat

 

 **seunggles** has invited **pettyjin** to the group chat

 

 **seunggles** : what happened to "we're all in this together" bitch

 **seunggles** : no i'm kidding i didn't mean that ily

 

 **pettyjin** : eh

 

 **furrylix** : wait what if hyunjin hyung knows the name because he has that kink

 

 **pettyjin** : you know what fuck you i didn't like living anyway

 

 **chittychittybangbang** : why is that the most relatable sentence

 

 **maknaehyung** : can you stop being edgy for like 5 seconds

 **maknaehyung** : that's changbin hyung's job

 

 **binniebinnie** : hEY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i actually made sure to add honorifics this time bc why not


	3. тняєє

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> seunggles: okay how about i go ask renjun how it's pronounced
> 
>  
> 
> furrylix: renjun is chinese???
> 
>  
> 
> binniebinnie: oh my god

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usernames:  
> chan: chittychittybangbang  
> woojin: CertifiedMom™  
> minho: leeminnow  
> changbin: binniebinnie  
> hyunjin: pettyjin  
> jisung: squarrel  
> felix: furrylix  
> seungmin: seunggles  
> jeongin: maknaehyung

**f** **urrylix** : guYS MY ALBUM CAME IN

  
**pettyjin** : yeah we know

 **pettyjin** : it was pretty obvious after you yelled "GUYS MY ALBUM CAME IN" when you walked inside the apartment after getting the mail

 

 **leeminnow** : you're literally so salty all the time

 

 **pettyjin** : shrugging emoji

 

 **squarrel** : felix, what'd album you get?

 

 **furrylix** : positive by pentagon!

 

 **squarrel** : ooO! did you open it yet? who's pc did you get?

 

 **binniebinnie** : there's too much happy going on in this conversation

 

 **chittychittybangbang** : okay jisung you know you could've just gone to your guy's room and looked

 

 **furrylix** : i got yanan's!

 

 **maknaehyung** : lmao wow ignored

 

 **chittychittybangbang** : yknow i could disown you and kick you out in a matter of seconds

 

 **maknaehyung** : do it you won't

 

 **chittychittybangbang** : shit,,,, you're rigHt

 

 **squarrel** : yanan? how is that pronounced?

 

 **furrylix** : i always pronounce it like yay-nan? but that may be wrong idk

 

 **squarrel** : i usually say yuh-nan

 

 **seunggles** : it looks like it'd be pronounced yuh-non

 

 **furrylix** : maybe just yan-An but with a lot of emphasis on the an?

 

 **squarrel** : how about yaw-nan

 

 **seunggles** : nono that's kinda weird

 

 **binniebinnie** : how about we just say yeehaw and move the fuck on

 

 **furrylix** : lemme go look it up bc this is gonna bother me

 

 **maknaehyung** : you do that

 

**like,,, 5 minutes idk**

 

 **furrylix** : okay so i found a video that pronounces all their names but idk how reliable it is considering it pronounced hui's name as 'whoee'

 

 **squarrel** : wHOEE DJKSKW I CH O KED

 

 **CertifiedMom™** : good does this mean one less mouth to feed

 

 **leeminnow** : but the question is

 **leeminnow** : what did you choke oN

 

 **squarrel** : my burning hatred for you

 

 **pettyjin** : wow minsung is Cancelledt

 

 **furrylix** : okay so i couldn't find any other pronunciations of yanan's name but

 **furrylix** : did you know that yanan is a wHOLE city in chiNA

 

 **binniebinnie** : felix i

 **binniebinnie** : i swear i'm dating the biggest dumbass in existence sometimes

 

 **furrylix** : nO SERIOUSLY LOOK

 **furrylix** :

     

 

  
**chittychittybangbang** : jesus christ

 

 **CertifiedMom™** : did his parents really name him after a city i-

 

 **seunggles** : okay how about i go ask renjun how it's pronounced

 

 **furrylix** : renjun is chinese???

 

 **binniebinnie** : oh my god

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rebecca ilysm uwu
> 
> i meant to post this yesterday but oh well


	4. ƒσυя

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> usernames:  
> chan: chittychittybangbang  
> woojin: CertifiedMom™  
> minho: leeminnow  
> changbin: binniebinnie  
> hyunjin: pettyjin  
> jisung: squarrel  
> felix: furrylix  
> seungmin: seunggles  
> jeongin: maknaehyung

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> binniebinnie: what's your obsession with eating everything you come into contact with
> 
>  
> 
> furrylix: i came into contact with you and didn't eat you now did i?
> 
> furrylix: didn't think so now get out of my mentions
> 
>  
> 
> pettyjin: this isn't twitter, felix

**c** **hittychittybangbang** : felix i swear to god

 

**furrylix** : uwu

 

**binniebinnie** : oh god what'd he do this time

 

**chittychittybangbang** : so i walked into the kitchen to make lunch right

**chittychittybangbang** : like the Good dad that i am

 

**maknaehyung** : that's a lie but yes proceed

 

**chittychittybangbang** : the first thing i see is the fucking dab mannequin placed on my chopping block

 

**furrylix** : uwu

 

**chittychittybangbang** : fELIX THIS IS THE 3RD TIME THIS WEEK

**chittychittybangbang** : AND IT'S MONDAY

 

**leeminnow** : lmao

 

**chittychittybangbang** : miNGO HELP

**chittychittybangbang** : MINHO*

 

**leeminnow** : i

 

**squarrel** : MINGO JEJSJSI

 

**leeminnow** : jisung i swear to god

 

**squarrel** : GUYS I LOVE LEE MINGO

**squarrel** : JDJSJD WHY DOES IT SOUND LIKE MANGO

 

**leeminnow** : i'm leaving

 

**squarrel** : nO MINGO COME BACK

**squarrel** : WHERE DID MY MINGO GO

**squarrel** : WHERE THE FUCK IS MY MING9

**squarrel** : MINGO*

 

**seunggles** : miNG9

 

**furrylix** : that's us uwu

**furrylix** : bc there's nine of us

**furrylix** : plus i like mangos

 

**squarrel** : dON'T YOU MEAN YOU LIKE MINGOS

 

**leeminnow** : jisung oh my god shut the fuck up

 

**pettyjin**  has named the chat  **MING9**

 

**furrylix** : we have rebranded

 

**leeminnow:** icb y'all named this chat after a typo of my name

 

**seunggles** : stray kiddos w h o

 

**furrylix** : is that a sauce

**furrylix** : can i consume it

 

**binniebinnie** : what's your obsession with eating everything you come into contact with

 

**furrylix** : i came into contact with you and didn't eat you now did i?

**furrylix** : didn't think so now get out of my mentions

 

**pettyjin** : this isn't twitter, felix

 

**furrylix** : now you listen here

 

**chittychittybangbang** : anyways, back to more important matters

 

**maknaehyung** : no one fucking cares about your dilemmas with the dab mannequin, hyung

 

**CertifiedMom™** : yOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally had to establish the fic name
> 
> am i making these too short? because i've just been basing each chapter off a topic or two and then ending it when i feel like the topic is over but maybe they're too short??? idk


	5. fινє

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> binniebinnie: jisung asked a question, i was just answering it
> 
> binniebinnie: so shut up before i come in there and slap you
> 
>  
> 
> maknaehyung: oh please, you're so short you could barely reach my knees as it is, so sit the fuck down shortcake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usernames:  
> chan: chittychittybangbang  
> woojin: CertifiedMom™  
> minho: leeminnow  
> changbin: binniebinnie  
> hyunjin: pettyjin  
> jisung: squarrel  
> felix: furrylix  
> seungmin: seunggles  
> jeongin: maknaehyung

**furrylix** : WOOJIN

 

**CertifiedMom™** : what

 

**furrylix** : HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY 

 

**CertifiedMom™** : oh god not this again

**CertifiedMom™** : how many times do i have to tell you that i'm not your mom

 

**chittychittybangbang** : why does woojin get wished a happy mother's day and not me

 

**squarrel** : i'm pretty sure you're not the one who picks up my dirty underwear off the floor and brings me tissues when i sneeze

 

**chittychittybangbang** : i cOOK

 

**seunggles** : lmao so

 

**chittychittybangbang** : well guess you're all just gonna have to starve then

**chittychittybangbang** : not jeongin though, he's an angel

 

**maknaehyung** : uwu

 

**leeminnow** : when are we gonna have an aunt's day jfc

**leeminnow** : i don't get appreciated enough 

 

**pettyjin** : what the fuck would we appreciate you for

**pettyjin** : literally all you do is sit around complaining about how loud everyone is and smuggle the wine you hide in the back of the fridge into your room

**pettyjin** : that's right, i know

 

**leeminnow** : shit

**leeminnow** : i took jisung to go get food the other day because he said he was hungry **huffing emoji**

 

**pettyjin** : you're in a relationship, that's different

 

**leeminnow** : doesn't make me any less of an aunt

 

**squarrel** : i

 

**binniebinnie** : reread what you just said

**binniebinnie** : and then get back to us

 

**leeminnow** : but why

 

**2 minutes later**

 

**leeminnow** : wAIT FUCK

 

**furrylix** : lmao you're almost as dumb as me

 

**seunggles** : oh btw minho

**seunggles** : there actually is an aunt's day

**seunggles** : but it's celebrated in the united states

 

**leeminnow** : well guess i'm becoming a westerner then

 

**pettyjin** : yo while i'd like to stay and endure this conversation longer (yeet)

**pettyjin** : i've got some Important Business to attend so i'll see y'all losers later

 

**seunggles** : byebye jinnie hyung!

 

**squarrel** : you guys all like got7 right??

 

**CertifiedMom™** : of course who doesn't 

 

**chittychittybangbang** : they're all right

 

**furrylix** : leave

 

**chittychittybangbang** : well shit mate

 

**squarrel** : who's your guys' biases!

 

**furrylix** : bambam definitely

 

**chittychittybangbang** : aye me toO

 

**leeminnow** : so is stanning bambam an australian thing or

 

**maknaehyung** : australians have a thing for thai people confirmed 

 

**seunggles** : hmm idk, there was that fight between felix and ten over who was gayer

 

**furrylix** : i clearly won

 

**binniebinnie** : keep telling yourself that

 

**maknaehyung** : anYWAYS

**maknaehyung** : my bias is youngjae

 

**seunggles** : i was thinking you'd like yugyeom bc fellow maknae

 

**maknaehyung** : yugyeom?

**maknaehyung** : he's alright 

 

**squarrel** : what's wrong with yugyeom? **huffing emoji**

 

**leeminnow** : well now we know who jisung's bias is

 

**squarrel** : i love yugyeom a lot uwu

 

**leeminnow** : gay

 

**squarrel** : we are literally two males

**squarrel** : in a relationship 

**squarrel** : and you have

**squarrel** : the A U D A C I T Y

**squarrel** : to call me gay

**squarrel** : lmao okay i see you

 

**leeminnow** : what's so great about yugyeom anyways

 

**squarrel** : have you seen yugyeom??

**squarrel** : the boy's a dance GOD

 

**leeminnow** : hm

 

**CertifiedMom™** : someone's jealous 

 

**leeminnow** : i can dance too yknow

 

**squarrel** : i know lol

 

**binniebinnie** : while i love seeing relationships being torn apart and all

 

**maknaehyung** : speaking from experience i see

 

**furrylix** : jeongin shut your bubble gum dumb dumb lookin ass tf up

 

**seunggles** : dumb dumb?

**seunggles** : by red velvet?

 

**binniebinnie** : WHILE I LOVE SEEING RELATIONSHIPS BEING TORN APART AND ALL

**binniebinnie** : my bias is jackson

 

**maknaehyung** : literally no one is surprised

 

**binniebinnie** : well shit fam

**binniebinnie** : jisung asked a question, i was just answering it

**binniebinnie** : so shut up before i come in there and slap you

 

**maknaehyung** : oh please, you're so short you could barely reach my knees as it is, so sit the fuck down shortcake 

 

**furrylix** : JEJDJS

 

**binniebinnie** : FELIX STOP KEYBOARD SMASHING AND BACK ME UP HERE 

 

**squarrel** : MINHO WHO'S YOUR BIAS

 

**leeminnow** : jaebum

 

**maknaehyung** : still being petty i see

 

**leeminnow** : where do you think hyunjin learned it from

 

**CertifiedMom™** : my bias is mark bc wow love me a multilingual man that can also rap like a god and sing like an angel

 

**chittychittybangbang** : ...

 

**CertifiedMom™** : what

 

**furrylix** : you literally just described chan

 

**CertifiedMom™** : who

 

**furrylix** : wait where's seungmin

 

**seunggles** : WOW I THOUGHT Y'ALL'D NEVER ASK

 

**maknaehyung** : i'm pretty sure y'all'd isn't a word

 

**seunggles** : who died and made you the dictator of what's a word and what isn't

 

**maknaehyung** : hitler

 

**leeminnow** : i

 

**chittychittybangbang** : stop fighting and let seungmin say who his bias is

 

**seunggles** : THANKS DAD

**seunggles** : my bias is jinyoung uwu

 

**maknaehyung** : so... hyunjin

 

**seunggles** : wdym?

 

**squarrel** : jinyoung and hyunjin look exactly the same

 

**furrylix** : what if he only likes jinyoung bc he looks like hyunjin lmao

 

**seunggles** : that's not why :^(

 

**maknaehyung** : sure jan

 

**seunggles** : guys, seriously

 

**furrylix** : it's true uwuwuwu

 

**seunggles** has left the group chat

 

**CertifiedMom™** : i think you guys should stop

 

**squarrel** : why? we weren't doing anything wrong

 

**chittychittybangbang** : the joke isn't funny anymore

**chittychittybangbang** : leave seungmin alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen,,, i know south korea doesn't celebrate mother's day, the celebrate parent's day on may 8th but idk i got a good idea for this so
> 
> this is long overdue, i'm so sorry. this isn't even that long which doesn't make up for the wait but ahh i've been super busy and i just wanted to get something posted.
> 
> there'll be a small wait on new chapters bc it's the end of the school year but oncw it's over (this friday) i'll be back to uploading often and hopefully longer chapters. :^)


	6. ѕιχ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CertifiedMom™ has added chittychittybangbang and seunggles to the group chat
> 
>  
> 
> CertifiedMom™ has changed the group chat name to seungmin support squad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usernames:  
> chan: chittychittybangbang  
> woojin: CertifiedMom™  
> minho: leeminnow  
> changbin: binniebinnie  
> hyunjin: pettyjin  
> jisung: squarrel  
> felix: furrylix  
> seungmin: seunggles  
> jeongin: maknaehyung

**CertifiedMom™** has added **chittychittybangbang** and **seunggles** to the group chat

 

**CertifiedMom™** has changed the group chat name to **seungmin support squad**

 

**seunggles** : what's this for

 

**CertifiedMom™** : we want to talk to you

**CertifiedMom™** : and comfort you

 

**seunggles** : if it's about me leaving, i'm fine

 

**chittychittybangbang** : we want to talk about you and hyunjin

 

**seunggles** : oh

**seunggles** : what about him and i

 

**CertifiedMom™** : okay, well actually we wanted to apologize for jisung, felix, and jeongin's behavior

 

**chittychittybangbang** : yesyes, that too

 

**CertifiedMom™** : it was immature of them to joke like that when you clearly didn't find it funny

 

**chittychittybangbang** : but do know that that's all it was, a joke

**chittychittybangbang** : they were just messing around, they didn't mean to make you upset

 

**seunggles** : i'm not upset, just embarrassed

**seunggles** : it would've been different if jinnie hyung wasn't in the chat as well

**seunggles** : i hope he doesn't think i'm weird

 

**CertifiedMom™** : weird for what?

**CertifiedMom™** : being gay?

 

**chittychittybangbang** : i doubt he cares, he's surrounded by people who like the same gender

 

**seunggles** : no, for liking him

**seunggles** : i don't want to ruin our friendship

 

**CertifiedMom™** : i'm not gonna tell you that if you tell him, he'll be fine with it or it won't ruin your friendship

**CertifiedMom™** : but i will tell you that you won't be able to find out how he feels about you liking him until you actually talk to him

 

**seunggles** : man i wish you were wrong

**seunggles** : i just wanna disappear and never have to face him again

 

**chittychittybangbang** : well we're definitely not gonna let that happen

**chittychittybangbang** : and you're going to have to confront him eventually

**chittychittybangbang** : you guys are best friends

 

**seunggles** : jdjdjsna

**seunggles** : okay

**seunggles** : idk how i'm gonna confront him or what to say but

**seunggles** : i'll try

 

**CertifiedMom™** : do you feel any better?

 

**seunggles** : i guess

**seunggles** : kinda Pressed about jisung calling me out like that when i know he knows that i like hyunjin hyung

 

**chittychittybangbang** : hunny,,,,

**chittychittybangbang** : the whole group chat knows

**chittychittybangbang** : except hyunjin of course lmao

 

**seunggles** : you know, for a moment there i was hoping he did know so i wouldn't even have to confront him

 

**chittychittybangbang** : smh

**chittychittybangbang** : hey i'm gonna add you back, alright?

 

**seunggles** : go ahead

 

** MING9 **

 

**chittychittybangbang** has added **seunggles** to the group chat

 

**squarrel** : welcome back!

 

**seunggles** : i'm gonna beat your ass

 

**furrylix** : welcome back???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short filler chapter while i finish up schoolwork. it's boring and kinda angsty but it adds to the minimal plot this book will have


	7. ѕєνєи

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> seunggles: jisung and felix were just being shriveled cucumbers, don't worry about it
> 
> seunggles: jeongin too but i can't stay mad at him uwu
> 
>  
> 
> pettyjin: did you just lowkey call them shriveled dicks i
> 
>  
> 
> seunggles: SJJDJS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usernames:  
> chan: chittychittybangbang  
> woojin: CertifiedMom™  
> minho: leeminnow  
> changbin: binniebinnie  
> hyunjin: pettyjin  
> jisung: squarrel  
> felix: furrylix  
> seungmin: seunggles  
> jeongin: maknaehyung

private chat with  **seunggles**  and  **pettyjin**

 

**pettyjin** : minnniiiiieee

 

**seunggles** : jinnnniiiiiiieee

 

**pettyjin** : i was reading through the chat from when i was gone

 

**seunggles** : oh no

 

**pettyjin** : why'd you leave?? :^(

 

**seunggles** : oh

**seunggles** : jisung and felix were just being shriveled cucumbers, don't worry about it

**seunggles** : jeongin too but i can't stay mad at him uwu

 

**pettyjin** : did you just lowkey call them shriveled dicks i

 

**seunggles** : SJJDJS

 

**pettyjin** : anyways

**pettyjin** : what were they being shriveled cucumbers about?

**pettyjin** : i didn't quite understand what was going on

**pettyjin** : like,,, they were comparing me to jinyoung but?????

 

**seunggles** : i'm not even gonna avoid the truth at this point

**seunggles** : they were trying to imply that i only chose jinyoung as my bias because i like you  
 **seen 8:04 pm**

**seunggles** : hyunjin????

 

Seungmin starts to grow nervous when he gets no response from Hyunjin.  _Did I scare him off? What if he thinks I'm weird now? Should I pack my bags, move to Venezuela, and change my name to Enrique-_

Seungmin's thoughts are cut off by a knock on the door to his shared room with Jisung and Felix. He puts his phone down and attempts to shake off the paranoia while opening the door, just to see Hyunjin on the other side of it.

"Do you?" Hyunjin stares Seungmin in the eyes for a solid 10 seconds before saying this.

"Do I-I what?"

"You said the others were teasing you because you like me," Hyunjin steps closer to Seungmin. "Do you?"

At this point, Seungmin is surprised his heart hasn't beaten it's way out of his chest. His cheeks flush as he responds.

"Y-yeah, I do..." He trails off, still feeling scared.

Seungmin's suddenly goes into two types of panic when he sees Hyunjin smile at him: a gay panic and a confused panic.

"Good." Hyunjin smiles even brighter. Seungmin simultaneously swoons at Hyunjin's beauty while making a confused face.  _What does he mean 'good'?_

Seungmin no longer needs to be confused when Hyunjin steps almost impossibly closer to him and kisses him.

 

**MING9**

  
**furrylix** : BSJKSO H M G G GODFKSI

**furrylix** : GUYS

 

**binniebinnie** : can you calm down, i can hear you fanboying from across seoul

 

**squarrel** : fELIX WHAT HAPPENED

 

**leeminnow** : spill the tea sis

 

**furrylix** : SO I GOT HOME FROM WORK EARLY RIGHT

 

**squarrel** : ugh lucky

 

**furrylix** : ikr

**furrylix** : aNYWAYS

**furrylix** : I WALKED IN THE DOOR AND WAS GOING TO OUR ROOM TO GO CHANGE AND WHATEVER

**furrylix** : BUT INSTEAD I SAW SEUNGMIN AND HYUNJIN SUCKING FACE

 

**maknaehyung** : that sounds gross

 

**squarrel** : OMG

**squarrel** : SEUNGJIN

**squarrel** : IT'S HAPPENING

 

**CertifiedMom™** : that's cute

 

**chittychittybangbang** : seungmin and hyunjin were 'sucking face' and you call that cute?

 

**CertifiedMom™** : i meant theM GETTING TOGETHER IS CUTE

 

**maknaehyung** : chan is just Salty because him and woojin aren't 'sucking face' right now

 

**CertifiedMom™** : JEONGIN

 

**chittychittybangbang** : JEONGIN

 

**leeminnow** : lmao

 

**binniebinnie** : that's all you ever say nowadays

 

**leeminnow** : did i fucking ask?

 

**furrylix** : tea

 

**binniebinnie** : listen man

**binniebinnie** : i ain't tryna fight

**binniebinnie** : but you tend to say lmao a lot unnecessarily

**binniebinnie** : and we all know damn well your ass is typing it with a straight face

 

**leeminnow** : how can i do anything with a straight face when i'm not

 

**squarrel** : that's gay

 

**leeminnow** : my point exactly

**leeminnow** : case closed

 

**binniebinnie** : doesn't explain why your vocabulary is limited to a four letter word

**binniebinnie** : that isn't even a word, it's an acronym you fucking millennial

 

**maknaehyung** : we're all millennials but okay john

 

**furrylix** : did someone bring up our lord and savior johnny sUH

 

**leeminnow** : no

**leeminnow** : literally no one said anything about johnny seo

 

**maknaehyung** : it's a dead joke but

 

**squarrel** : don't

 

**maknaehyung** : oh daddy

 

**CertifiedMom™** : jEONGIN

 

**chittychittybangbang** : sometimes i wonder who raised you jesus fucking christ

 

**CertifiedMom™** : it'd be pretty believable to say it was you with you using the lord's name in vain and cursing in between

**CertifiedMom™** : but that'd imply i also raised him and unlike you i'm an actual Good Parent so it couldn't possibly be us who raised him

 

**furrylix** : JDISKDKND

 

**squarrel** : gO OFF MOM

 

**chittychittybangbang** : i want a divorce

 

**seunggles** : hello

 

**pettyjin** : what'd i miss

 

**furrylix** : welcome back ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**squarrel** : welcome back indeed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**seunggles** : ??

 

**maknaehyung** : read up

 

**seunggles** : FELIX LEE YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH

 

**CertifiedMom™** : what'd you just call me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a month lmao oOPS
> 
> i'm sorry, writer's block + no inspiration = lack of update with no excuse
> 
> but at least we got some seungjin and actual writing
> 
> i practically pulled the whole conversation afterwards out of my ass because i just really wanted to get something written, so i'm sorry if it sucks
> 
> uM i'm gonna try to update more often? with actual good content? so look forward to that i guess
> 
> i'd also like to thank everyone for kudos and comments, it makes me not want to quit on this book and i always enjoy reading what you guys have to say about this book and my shitty humor, i love every single one of you!


	8. єιgнт

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chittychittybangbang: this is discrimination
> 
>  
> 
> leeminnow: against what? ross lynch lookalikes?
> 
> leeminnow: bc then yes
> 
>  
> 
> chittychittybangbang: ouch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usernames:  
> chan: chittychittybangbang  
> woojin: CertifiedMom™  
> minho: leeminnow  
> changbin: binniebinnie  
> hyunjin: pettyjin  
> jisung: squarrel  
> felix: furrylix  
> seungmin: seunggles  
> jeongin: maknaehyung

**furrylix** : it's gay culture to love lee minho

 

**squarrel** : BTCHH IKR

 

**binniebinnie** : i guess i'm boyfriendless and straight now

**binniebinnie** : who woulda thought i'd lose felix to guy like minho

 

**leeminnow** : i won't hesitate to punch you in the face

 

**binniebinnie** : and i won't hesitate to come up there and throttle you

 

**leeminnow** : i'd like to see you try

 

**binniebinnie** : heptagon up bitch

**binniebinnie** :

     

 

**pettyjin** : that picture is false advertisement

**pettyjin** : it's clearly photoshopped

 

**binniebinnie** : hyunjin do me a favor

 

**pettyjin** : no

 

**binniebinnie** : shut up thanks

**binniebinnie** : YOU DIDN'T LET ME FINISH

 

**pettyjin** : uwu

 

**leeminnow** : changbin i'm calling your mother

 

**binniebinnie** : WAIT PLS NO I'M SORRY

 

**leeminnow** : uwu

 

**squarrel** : it may be gay culture to love lee minho but it's just dumb culture to actually date him

 

**leeminnow** : ,,,,,

**leeminnow** : i tREAT YOU SO NICELY

**leeminnow** : LIKE AN ANGEL SENT DOWN FROM HEAVEN

**leeminnow** : BECAUSE YOU ARE

**leeminnow** : AND THIS IS THE SHIT I GET

 

**CertifiedMom™** : omg minho that's like the sweetest thing i've ever heard

**CertifiedMom™** : and it came out of YOU

**CertifiedMom™** : chan why aren't you ever sweet to me like that

 

**chittychittybangbang** : what the fuck do you mean i'm like the best boyfriend ever

 

**seunggles** : uh you mean hyunjin is the best boyfriend ever

 

**furrylix** : listen all i'm saying is changbin and i have been together the longest so techniCally shouldn't binnie be the best boyfriend here uwu

 

**binniebinnie** : nah i'm still boyfriendless

 

**furrylix** : :^(

 

**maknaehyung** : well if we're going by time together and changlix is Over, then wouldn't it be minsung?

 

**leeminnow** : i WAS the best boyfriend ever but i've decided to join changbin in the Boyfriendless Life

 

**seunggles** : how is it

 

**leeminnow** : pretty chill actually

 

**binniebinnie** : man ikr

**binniebinnie** : no more loud furries up your ass about the latest gays

 

**furrylix** : we live in a society

**furrylix** : jisung how are you so unaffected

 

**CertifiedMom™** : he isn't

**CertifiedMom™** : he's banging on minho and i's door begging for minho to take him back and 'dumb culture? i meant cumb culture! as in cucumbers! haha that's gay'

 

**pettyjin** : oh my

 

**chittychittybangbang** : idk what cumb culture is but i have no wish to take part in it

 

**the next day**

 

**maknaehyung** : so jisung, how'd it go with minho

 

**leeminnow** : he says it went fine

 

**pettyjin** : his lazy ass really couldn't get his phone to tell us that himself?

 

**squarrel** : you know what

**squarrel** : fuck you too hyunjin

 

**CertifiedMom™** : can we go one FUCKING day without anyone fighting??? please??????

**CertifiedMom™** : i'm literally gonna start pulling my hair out

 

**leeminnow** : i give you full access to my wine collection

**leeminnow** : trust me, it helps

 

**chittychittybangbang** : can i

 

**leeminnow** : no

 

**chittychittybangbang** : this is discrimination

 

**leeminnow** : against what? ross lynch lookalikes?

**leeminnow** : bc then yes

 

**chittychittybangbang** : ouch

 

**furrylix** : hey i wanna try something

 

**seunggles** : i'm scared

 

**binniebinnie** : as you should be

 

**furrylix** has added **m0rk** , **reenjuan** ,and 5 others to the group chat

**furrylix** : oh shit i forgot someone

 

**furrylix**  has added  **PapiLucas**  to the group chat

 

**surprise author's note wowie:  
yukhei: PapiLucas  
mark: m0rk  
renjun: reenjuan  
jeno: jeanoh  
donghyuck: honeyhyuckles  
jaemin: jaemints  
chenle: chenLUHHH  
jisung: pWAark  
but i'm sure everyone could've figured it out without this list**

**PapiLucas** : HELLO

 

**pettyjin** : you see, it was fine until you added yukhei

 

**CertifiedMom™** : felix, hunny, why

 

**chenLUHHH** : i'm ready to wreak havoc

 

**reenjuan** : we just got here, pls don't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i present to you nct dream (+ yukhei, who i gave the same cliche personality you see him given in EVERY. SINGLE. NCT CHAT FIC. anyways) they'll make more of an appearance next chapter
> 
> i don't even know?? what this chapter is????? it's a god damn MESS that's what it is but i just wanted to write something to make up for lack of updates
> 
> i included minho a lot more unintentionally because uM he's my ult and i didn't even notice that he was every other person that spoke until i edited this OOPS
> 
> cameron stop making her a/n's so long challenge


	9. иιиє

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chittychittybangbang: shut up you rat
> 
>  
> 
> maknaehyung: what'd you just call me
> 
>  
> 
> chittychittybangbang: you perfect angel who i could never replace and is the epitome of perfection***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usernames:  
> chan: chittychittybangbang  
> woojin: CertifiedMom™  
> minho: leeminnow  
> changbin: binniebinnie  
> hyunjin: pettyjin  
> jisung: squarrel  
> felix: furrylix  
> seungmin: seunggles  
> jeongin: maknaehyung  
> yukhei: PapiLucas  
> mark: m0rk  
> renjun: reenjuan  
> jeno: jeanoh  
> donghyuck: honeyhyuckles  
> jaemin: jaemints  
> chenle: chenLUHHH  
> jisung: pWAark
> 
> dream ships i'm including: renmark, jaeno, chensung

**seunggles** : i'm scared

 

**chittychittybangbang** : not only am i scared by the idea of this group chat, but i'm TERRIFIED

 

**furrylix** : oh don't be such a wuss, this'll be fun

 

**jaemints** : idk if i'd call this fun

 

**honeyhyuckles** : this group chat is just an extra 9 people i have to be annoyed by

 

**leeminnow** : just mute us then

 

**honeyhyuckles** : do you know how much effort that requires

 

**m0rk** : big mood

 

**reenjuan** : mark stop

 

**PapiLucas** : HELLO

 

**maknaehyung** : you already greeted us but hello

 

**CertifiedMom™** : wow yukhei actually got a hello back

**CertifiedMom™** : that's one more hello than we've ever gotten from him

 

**maknaehyung** : that's not true

**maknaehyung** : do you not remember me yelling "hello fat ass" when jisung came home yesterday?

 

**CertifiedMom™** : you got me there

 

**squarrel** : am i supposed to feel special or

 

**chenLUHHH** : GUYS

 

**leeminnow** : don't be loud unless you got good tea to spill

 

**chenLUHHH** : IT'S GOOD

 

**furrylix** : GURL WHAT IS IT

 

**jaemints** : guuuurls

 

**reenjuan** : don't make fun of ten unless you want him coming for you while you sleep

 

**jaemints** : what if i want that

 

**pettyjin** : i

 

**honeyhyuckles** : that was gay

**honeyhyuckles** : i liked it

 

**chenLUHHH** : ANYWAYS

 

**PapiLucas** : WE SAW A DOG

 

**chenLUHHH** : SHUT UP I WANTED TO SAY IT

 

**PapiLucas** : BUT I SAW IT TOO

**PapiLucas** : I HAVE THE R I G H T TO EXCLAIM ABOUT A DOG I SAW EVEN IF YOU WERE GONNA DO IT FIRST

 

**reenjuan** : did yukhei really just used the word exclaim

 

**furrylix** : WHAT KIND OF DOG WAS IT OMG

 

**squarrel** : and i thought i was loud

 

**leeminnow** : oh you are

**leeminnow** : you really fucken are

 

**chittychittybangbang** : no innuendos in my gay christian household

 

**furrylix** : excuse me

 

**binniebinnie** : you're excused

 

**furrylix** : last time i checked I WAS the one who made this gc

 

**m0rk** : but isn't chan like

**m0rk** : the dad or whatever

 

**maknaehyung** : sorry but i never agreed to calling chan my dad

**maknaehyung** : woojin hyung? sure whatever but

 

**reenjuan** : mark, if chan is the dad by your standards of """ming9""" or whatever y'all call yourselves, then wouldn't that make you the dad of the dreamies

 

**m0rk** : wouldn't that make you the mom

 

**reenjuan** : wait shit oh fuck

**reenjuan** : i didn't want this kind of responsibility

 

**PapiLucas** : IT WAS A HUSKY

 

**pWAark** : you are so fucking late

 

**reenjuan** : JISUNG FUCKING PARK YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH

 

**CertifiedMom™** : i feel like i've said something along those lines before

 

**honeyhyuckles** : """i didn't want this kind of responsibility"""

 

**reenjuan** : that's it you're fucking grounded

 

**furrylix** : wheres jeno

**furrylix** : he hasn't talked at all

 

**reenjuan** : hes been playing video games since like 1pm

 

**jeanoh** : thats not true

**jeanoh** : ive been playing since 12pm

 

**pWAark** : sigh

 

**honeyhyuckles** : jeno either get a life or get a boyfriend

 

**jaemints** : i volunteer as tribute

 

**jeanoh** : why a boyfriend

**jeanoh** : why not a girlfriend

 

**furrylix** : bc that's straight

 

**squarrel** : no hets in this household

 

**pWAark** : what about panicked gays??

 

**furrylix** : although panicked gays are watched closely for signs of hetersexual activity, they are more welcome than any het

 

**pWAark** : oh thank god

 

**honeyhyuckles** : oh man

**honeyhyuckles** : why couldn't i be straight so i could leave this hell hole

 

**chittychittybangbang** : i thought mark was straight

 

**reenjuan** : if he was, then there would be some serious problems and i would have a long, thorough discussion with him on his life choices

 

**seunggles** : jeno are you not even miLdly gay???

 

**jeanoh** : should i be?

 

**furrylix** : JSJKSKD

 

**seunggles** : it's official

**seunggles** : jeno is a het

 

**squarrel** : alright julie chen

 

**leeminnow** : you watch way too much big brother

 

**squarrel** : tyler crispen is hot okay

 

**leeminnow** : ,,,,

**leeminnow** : k

 

**chittychittybangbang** : another day another incident of jisung making minho jealous

 

**jaemints** : minho at least your boyfriend isn't a flaming heterosexual

 

**random time skip**

**CertifiedMom™** : JISUNG

 

**squarrel** : WHAT

 

**pWAark** : what

**pWAark** : wait

 

**reenjuan** : jisung are you cheating on me with another mom :o

 

**pWAark** : mother no i didn't mean it like that

 

**honeyhyuckles** : """"""I DIDN'T WANT THIS KIND OF RESPONSIBILITY""""""

 

**reenjuan** : I THOUGHT YOU WERE GROUNDED MISTER

**reenjuan** : GO BACK TO YOUR CORNER

 

**honeyhyuckles** : this house is a fUCKING NIGHTMARE

 

**PapiLucas** : OH ARE WE MAKING VINE REFERENCES

 

**pettyjin** : donghyuck what have you done

 

**PapiLucas** : WHAT UP I'M LUCAS I'M 19 AND I NEVER FUCKING LEARNED HOW TO READ

 

**pWAark** : then how did you just type that

**pWAark** : i may be a kindergartener but

**pWAark** : i know damn well that reading and writing go hand in hand

 

**chittychittybangbang** : since he got ignored earlier i'll just answer him now

**chittychittybangbang** : what'd jisung do this time

 

**maknaehyung** : look at chan playing kiss up

 

**chittychittybangbang** : shut up you rat

 

**maknaehyung** : what'd you just call me

 

**chittychittybangbang** : you perfect angel who i could never replace and is the epitome of perfection***

 

**jeanoh** : autocorrect man

**jeanoh** : always out to get ya

 

**pettyjin** : okay but first of all

**pettyjin** : which jisung

 

**chenLUHHH** : I FEEL LIKE THIS WILL BECOME A FUTURE DILEMMA

 

**leeminnow** : i can hear you from down the hall wtf why are you typing in all caps

 

**chenLUHHH** : IDK

 

**PapiLucas** : BC IT'S FUN

 

**CertifiedMom™** : i propose we call park jisung 2.0

 

**chenLUHHH** : wtf why is he 2.0

**chenLUHHH** : why can't han be jisung 2.0

 

**leeminnow** : oh wow he does know how to turn caps lock off

**leeminnow** : but jisungie was born first, therefore park is jisung 2.0

 

**squarrel** : HMEJKDKD

**squarrel** : HE CALLED ME JISUNGIE OMG

**squarrel** : I LOVE YOU LEE MINHO :C

 

**leeminnow** : that's hyung to you

 

**m0rk** : i say your jisung is jisung 2.0 because the dreamies were established first

 

**honeyhyuckles** : your jisung isnt even that much older

 

**jaemints** : i say we just continue to call them han and park

 

**squarrel** : OOO like a stage namE??? like idols???????

 

**CertifiedMom™** : yes jisung sure

**CertifiedMom™** : like a stage name

 

**squarrel** : who's jisung??? it's HAN NOW

 

**furrylix** : wAIT I WANT A STAGE NAME

 

**chittychittybangbang** : no

 

**furrylix** : :^(

**furrylix** : mom?

 

**CertifiedMom™** : no

 

**furrylix** : :'^(

 

**binniebinnie** : you see what you fucking did

**binniebinnie** : now the lil shit is crying

 

**furrylix** : NVM I'M BETTER

 

**pWAark** : it's late but

**pWAark** : god jisung park*

 

**seunggles** : jisung no one's calling you that

 

**chenLUHHH** : I WILL

**chenLUHHH** : I WORSHIP MY GOD

**chenLUHHH** : THE ONLY GOD

**chenLUHHH** : GOD JISUNG PARK

 

**pWAark** : is that a brandon rogers reference

 

**chenLUHHH** : mAYBE

 

**pWAark** : oh my god i love you

 

**chenLUHHH** : WHDJJD

**chenLUHHH** : SJJXISKAK

 

**pettyjin** : oh no

 

**chenLUHHH** : SJSJIOAKJKCD

 

**jeanoh** : guys i think we broke him

 

**PapiLucas** : DO NOT FEAR

**PapiLucas** : LUCAS IS HERE

 

**seunggles** : oh there is so much to fear

 

**PapiLucas**  has added  **junguwu**  to the group chat

 

**junguwu** : ?w?

 

**leeminnow** : oh my god

 

**junguwu** : ʷʰᵃᵗ ᶦˢ ᵗʰᶦˢ? ˡᵘᶜᵃˢ ʷʰʸ ᵃᵐ ᶦ ʰᵉʳᵉ?

 

**maknaehyung** : wow i never knew someone could sound so soft over text message

 

**junguwu** : ᶦᵗ'ˢ ᵃ ᵍᶦᶠᵗ

 

**pettyjin** : omg jungwoo hi!!

 

**chittychittybangbang** : who the fuck broke hyunjin

 

**leeminnow** : this isn't the petty attitude i raised him with

 

**junguwu** : ʰʸᵘⁿⁿᶦᵉ!!!!

 

**seunggles** : hyunnie????

 

**honeyhyuckles** : this sounds like some drama right here

 

**jaemints** : i'll bring the popcorn

 

**honeyhyuckles** : good, jeongin you're on drinks

 

**maknaehyung** : i gotchu

 

**jeanoh** : can i come

 

**jaemints** : YES

 

**honeyhyuckles** : no hets allowed

 

**jaemints** : oh

**jaemints** : sorry jeno

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kind of abrupt ending but
> 
> listen ik i never explain what jisung did but it may be important next chapter uwu
> 
> wow queen of spoilers look at her GO
> 
> by nct dream
> 
> anyways
> 
> i just wanted to explain jisung's username bc i realized i never did oops. it's a big brother joke, in season 17 there was a player who said squirrel as 'squarrel' so uh yeah
> 
> fun fact: i forgot i added yukhei to the gc until halfway through writing so i had to go back and edit him in, my dumbass only


	10. тєи

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pettyjin: us talls stick together
> 
> pettyjin: sorry changbin
> 
>  
> 
> pWAark: and renjun
> 
>  
> 
> reenjuan: you are getting on my last fucking nerve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usernames:  
> chan: chittychittybangbang  
> woojin: CertifiedMom™  
> minho: leeminnow  
> changbin: binniebinnie  
> hyunjin: pettyjin  
> jisung: squarrel  
> felix: furrylix  
> seungmin: seunggles  
> jeongin: maknaehyung  
> jungwoo: junguwu  
> yukhei: PapiLucas  
> mark: m0rk  
> renjun: reenjuan  
> jeno: jeanoh  
> donghyuck: honeyhyuckles  
> jaemin: jaemints  
> chenle: chenLUHHH  
> jisung: pWAark
> 
> i didn't mention this last chapter but luwoo is established :^)
> 
> i also want to point out that it's hard to establish every single member, so i apologize, but i really do try.

**seunggles** : hyunjin, i didnt know you and jungwoo were friends

 

 **pettyjin** : yeah, him and i talk like all the time!

 **pettyjin** : you never noticed?

 

 **jaemints** : wow this popcorn is really good

 

 **furrylix** : seungmin is being almost as jealous as minho gets, that's a nice change for once

 

 **leeminnow** : listen rat

 

 **junguwu** : ᶦ'ᵐ ⁿᵒᵗ ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵃᶦⁿᶦⁿᵍ ᵇᵘᵗ, ʷʰʸ ᵃᵐ ᶦ ʰᵉʳᵉ?

 

 **chenLUHHH** : jungwoo hyung!!

 

 **reenjuan** : oh good he's not broken anymore

 

 **junguwu** : ᵇʳᵒᵏᵉⁿ?? ʷʰᵃᵗ ʰᵃᵖᵖᵉⁿᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ˡᵉˡᵉ :<

 

 **seunggles** : jisung 2.0 kinda like,,, confessed his unDying love to chenle and thus

 

 **pWAark** : that is false information

 

 **junguwu** : ʲᶦˢᵘⁿᵍ ².⁰???? ᶦ'ᵐ ˢᵒ ᶜᵒⁿᶠᵘˢᵉᵈ :<<<

 

 **pettyjin** : don't worry about it hyung!

 **pettyjin** : tbh it's kind of better to be oblivious to everything that goes down in this chat

 

 **binniebinnie** : something is seriously wrong with hyunjin

 

 **pettyjin** : did you guys hear something?

 

 **binniebinnie** : don't make me come up there

 

 **pettyjin** : changbin hyung? is that you??

 **pettyjin** : sorry i couldn't hear you over your vast midget-ness

 

 **seunggles** : none of this is relevant

 **seunggles** : how did you two even meet

 

 **honeyhyuckles** : we literally live down the hall

 **honeyhyuckles** : how did they not meet

 

 **pettyjin** : us talls stick together

 **pettyjin** : sorry changbin

 

 **pWAark** : and renjun

 

 **reenjuan** : you are getting on my last fucking nerve

 **reenjuan** : it's like you want to follow in donghyuck's steps

 

 **pWAark** : see, that's where you're wrong

 **pWAark** : i have no wish to be a dunce in the near future

 

 **furrylix** : HSHDJD OH SHIT

 

 **jaemints** : rip in pieces jisung

 

 **honeyhyuckles** : jisung fucking park

 **honeyhyuckles** : i'll have you know i was top of my class

 

 **m0rk** : no you weren't

 

 **honeyhyuckles** : and i won 3 consecutive class spelling bees in 2nd grade

 **honeyhyuckles** : so maybe do some research before being a little cunt nugget

 

 **reenjuan** : tHERE ARE CHILDREN NEAR

 

 **maknaehyung** : oh fuck you

 

 **pWAark** : oh fuck you

 

 **leeminnow** : i

 

 **jeanoh** : that's some kind of maknae telepathy shit right there

 

 **CertifiedMom™** : y'know

 **CertifiedMom™** : i could really go for some olive garden breadsticks rn

 

 **chittychittybangbang** : you've never even had olive garden

 

 **leeminnow** : i don't think he's ever had italian food either

 

 **CertifiedMom™** : that's not the Fucking Point

 **CertifiedMom™** : i want them

 **CertifiedMom™** : i NEED them

 

 **m0rk** : wait, you're tryna tell me woojin hyung has never had italian food before???

 

 **chittychittybangbang** : unfortunately so

 

 **CertifiedMom™** : LISTEN

 **CertifiedMom™** : I WOULD FUCKING MARRY THEIR BREADSTICKS

 

 **furrylix** : who's the crackhead now

 

 **binniebinnie** : you

 

 **pettyjin** : you

 

 **leeminnow** : you

 

 **maknaehyung** : you

 

 **seunggles** : you

 

 **furrylix** : well shit guys

 

 **honeyhyuckles** : you

 

 **furrylix** : i fUCKING GET IT

 

 **jaemints** : you

 

 **furrylix** : wow thanks jaemin

 

 **jaemints** : anytime brother

 

 **pWAark** : you

 

 **furrylix** : listen, ik y'all are like busy calling me a crackhead and all, and i get it of course, but

 **furrylix** : i just reheated leftovers from yesterday

 

 **maknaehyung** : and?

 

 **furrylix** : it was fucking GOOD

 **furrylix** : i guess you could call me chef boy yard tea

 

 **jaemints** : i take back what i said about "anytime brother"

 **jaemints** : i no longer wish to associate myself with someone who says "chef boy yard tea"

 

 **junguwu** : ʰᵉʸ, ʰᵃˢ ᵃⁿʸᵒⁿᵉ ˢᵉᵉⁿ ˡᵘᶜᵃˢ? ʰᵉ'ˢ ⁿᵒᵗ ʰᵒᵐᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ ʰᵉ ʰᵃˢⁿ'ᵗ ᵇᵉᵉⁿ ˢᵖᵉᵃᵏᶦⁿᵍ ᶦⁿ ᶜʰᵃᵗ ᶠᵒʳ ᵃʷʰᶦˡᵉ. ᶦ ᵐᶦˢˢ ʰᶦᵐ :<

 

 **CertifiedMom™** : that right there

 **CertifiedMom™** : that is the cutest shit of all time

 

 **jeanoh** : he said he was gonna go grocery shopping

 

 **reenjuan** : wait

 **reenjuan** : you let him go ALONE??????

 

 **jeanoh** : uh

 **jeanoh** : oops?

 

 **leeminnow** : first jisung 2.0, now jeno

 **leeminnow** : we have lost two brave soldiers today

 

 **chittychittybangbang** : speaking of people being gone for unnerving amounts of time

 **chittychittybangbang** : where the fuck is our jisung??

 

 **leeminnow** : last i saw, woojin was talking to him about something then he went in his room and hasn't come out since

 

 **CertifiedMom™** : i talked to him like an hour ago though

 

 **leeminnow** : what were you even talking to him about???

 

 **CertifiedMom™** : that's unimportant

 

 **leeminnow** : he's my boyfriend, so it's pretty important to me if it possibly caused his normally loud and rambunctious self to be anti social for an entire hour

 

 **m0rk** : we're just gonna like,,, go

 

 **reenjuan** : squad, roll out

 

 **m0rk**  has left the group chat

 

 **reenjuan**  has left the group chat

 

 **jeanoh**  has left the group chat

 

 **honeyhyuckles**  has left the group chat

 

 **jaemints**  has left the group chat

 

 **chenLUHHH**  has left the group chat

 

 **pWAark**  has left the group chat

 

 **junguwu** : ᵇʸᵉᵇʸᵉ ʰʸᵘⁿʲᶦⁿⁿᶦᵉ!!

 

 **junguwu**  has removed  **PapiLucas**  from the group chat

 

 **junguwu**  has left the group chat

 

 **CertifiedMom™** : you don't own him minho, whatever jisung and i talk about is none of your business

 

 **squarrel** : guys please stop

 **squarrel** : i'm fine, i just took a nap

 **squarrel** : i stayed up late last night studying for finals

 

 **leeminnow** : i'm sorry jisung

 

 **squarrel** : don't be! you were just worried, i understand :^) ily

 

 **leeminnow** : ilyt

 

 **CertifiedMom™** : jisung, try not to stay up too late okay? your health is important as well

 

 **squarrel** : of course

 **squarrel** : i missed the chat with the dreamies :^(

 

 **binniebinnie** : lucky

 

 **furrylix** : i miss them aLready

 

 **pettyjin** : they live down the hall, you can literally walk 10 feet to go see them, y'know, IN PERSON

 

 **furrylix** : do you know how much effort that requires

 **furrylix** : more than i'm willing to give

 

 **maknaehyung** : sigh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> extremely half assed, oops
> 
> i just want to say, thank you??? to morgan and rebecca????? bc they've helped me a lot with this, with morgan helping in generating ideas and rebecca just listening to my crazy ideas and both of them being amazing mental support, it's really appreciated and i just love the two them to pieces djcjskdk [insert billions of heart emojis here]
> 
> also thanks to mang9 for being the biggest crackheads, they made this fic possible tbh
> 
> i have great plans for this book and i'm super excited to execute them, so look forward to that!


	11. єℓєνєи

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> furrylix: yuta let's be furries together
> 
> seunggles: you're insane
> 
> furrylix: like nicki minaj once said: be a lady and a freak
> 
> pettyjin: felix what the fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usernames:  
> chan: chittychittybangbang  
> woojin: CertifiedMom™  
> minho: leeminnow  
> changbin: binniebinnie  
> hyunjin: pettyjin  
> jisung: squarrel  
> felix: furrylix  
> seungmin: seunggles  
> jeongin: maknaehyung
> 
> [i'm not satisfied with this chapter, i'm sorry. i would've deleted and rewritten it if i hadn't spent an hour writing it.]

**chittychittybangbang** : hey i know we just got finished with the hell that was 18 people in one chat

 

**maknaehyung** : really, how do nct do that shit

 

**chittychittybangbang** : woojin and i have decided to add some friends of our own

 

**furrylix** : ew don't add a bunch of old people

 

**chittychittybangbang**  has added  **taeurr** ,  **Mr.Suh** , and 4 others to the group chat

 

**a wild cameron has appaeared:**   
**taeil: taeurr**   
**johnny: Mr.Suh**   
**taeyong: taeyugh**   
**kun: kunsley**   
**doyoung: dontyoung**   
**jaehyun: jaeJuan**

**i'd also like to point out that doil, johnten, and jaeyong are implied even if i don't include them that much k bye**

**furrylix** : didn't i just say not to add a bunch of old people

 

**kunsley** : y'know i was gonna say hello but now i'm not so sure

 

**leeminnow** : fellow wine aunt hello

 

**kunsley** : don't

 

**leeminnow** : well shit nevermind

 

**taeurr** : am i allowed to leave

 

**binniebinnie** : if i can't leave then you can't leave

 

**taeurr** : a shame

 

**pettyjin** : truly

 

**Mr.Suh** : children

 

**chittychittybangbang** : don't you fucking dare

 

**Mr.Suh** : daddy seo has arrived

 

**CertifiedMom™**  has removed  **Mr.Suh**  from the group chat

 

**CertifiedMom™** : i don't fucking think so

**CertifiedMom™** : not around my children

**CertifiedMom™** : that kind of behavior may be allowed with ten but not here

 

**leeminnow** : are you implying what i think you're implying

 

**binniebinnie** : how to unsee a text message

 

**pettyjin** : i can't see johnny and ten the same way

 

**furrylix** : ????

 

**chittychittybangbang** : don't worry about it son

 

**taeyugh** : pls add him back

**taeyugh** : he won't get off my ass about it

**taeyugh** : my migraine is bad enough i don't need a 10 foot tall behemoth making it worse

 

**CertifiedMom™** : only bc i understand your pain

 

**CertifiedMom™**  has added  **Mr.Suh**  to the group chat

 

**Mr.Suh** : well fuck you too

 

**taeyugh** : i don't have the time or energy to tell you to watch your language

 

**CertifiedMom™** : but that doesn't mean i don't so felix don't even think about it

 

**furrylix** : i am a pure and innocent child

 

**jaeJuan** : i'm apologizing ahead of time but i'm only doing this bc he's a headass who runs his mouth a mile per minute and it's a bunch of whiny complaints

**jaeJuan** : so just know it was in my best interest to add him

 

**jaeJuan**  has added  **yuttata**  to the group chat

 

**yuttata** : are y'all trying to say i'm not a parental figure in this household???

 

**pettyjin** : no one said anything of a sort

 

**dontyoung** : we just don't like you

 

**yuttata** : :o

 

**kunsley** : are you really surprised

 

**yuttata** : not really

**yuttata** : but by adding me you've officially declared me an nct parental

 

**jaeJuan** : i'm sorry guys

 

**seunggles** : wait yuta is your user a pokemon reference

 

**yuttata** : wHY OF COURSE

**yuttata** : i'm not japanese for no reason

 

**maknaehyung** : i

**maknaehyung** : those two things aren't even remotely related other than the fact that y'all were both made in japan

 

**yuttata** : close enough

 

**furrylix** : yuta let's be furries together

 

**seunggles** : you're insane

 

**furrylix** : like nicki minaj once said: be a lady and a freak

 

**pettyjin** : felix what the fuck

 

**yuttata** : listen man, i'm down if you're down

 

**leeminnow** : wAit maybe some good can come out of yuta being here

**leeminnow** : i finally have someone to talk to about anime

 

**pettyjin** : i talk to you about anime all the time tf what is this betrayal

 

**leeminnow** : yeah but you're no fun

 

**yuttata** : it depends

**yuttata** : what anime we talking about here

 

**leeminnow** : does haikyuu ring a bell

 

**yuttata** : why my favorite volleygays of course

 

**kunsley** : alright thats enough bc idk how much addictional anime bants i can withstand outside of yuta's tv screen yelling

 

**yuttata** : hey just bc i dont read your manhua or whatever the fuck

 

**kunsley** : it's liteRALLY THE SAME THING AS MANGA I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND

**kunsley** : DIDN'T SICHENG TEACH YOU

 

**yuttata** : sicheng's taught me lots of things, you'll have to be me specific

 

**CertifiedMom™** : don't you dare pull a johnny or so help me

 

**Mr.Suh** : i was summoned?

 

**taeyugh** : no, go back to sleep

 

**Mr.Suh** : alright

 

**taeurr** : a literal child

 

**pettyjin** : isn't he like

**pettyjin** : 10cm taller than you

 

**dontyoung** : oh i wouldnt go there kid

 

**taeurr** : no doyoung, let him

**taeurr** : your point, hyunjin?

**taeurr** : are you calling me short?

 

**pettyjin** : precisely

 

**leeminnow** : the dead bodies just keep piling up

 

**jaeJuan** : excuse me?

 

**maknaehyung** : don't worry about it

 

**furrylix** : hey since we're in a chat with a bunch of old people, i feel like this subject change is appropriate

 

**chittychittybangbang** : oh dear lord

 

**furrylix** : choi siwon man oh my fucking god

**furrylix** : i'm so gay for choi siwon

**furrylix** : i mean i was gay anyways but

 

**CertifiedMom™** : don't be getting any THOUGHTS about him felix, you're still a minor

**CertifiedMom™** : and plus he's like 2 decades older than you

 

**furrylix** : age is just a number

 

**CertifiedMom™** : yeah well prison is just a cell

 

**kunsley** : okay but if siwon was 2 decades older than felix, then wouldn't felix be 11

 

**binniebinnie** : sounds about right

 

**seunggles** : anyways, back to what we WERE talking about

**seunggles** : i'm more of a leeteuk kinda guy

 

**furrylix** : idk he's a bit old don't you think

 

**dontyoung** : i

 

**maknaehyung** : he's literally 4 years older than siwon shut the fuck up you bedazzled peanut

 

**yuttata** : that's one gay peanut

 

**maknaehyung** : oh you bet

 

**furrylix** : it's not even an insult because it's true

 

**squarrel** : i just got here why are we talking about super junior

 

**taeyugh** : why wouldn't we be talking about super junior

 

**Mr.Suh** : is that taeyong's inner gay coming out

 

**taeyugh** : i've been restraining it with the kids around

 

**jaeJuan** : you're the reason we have a no kids allowed group chat jfc

 

**dontyoung** : that and taeil hyung's random hormonal outbursts

 

**taeurr** : hey i thought we wouldn't bring that up

 

**pettyjin** : i'd ask what these hormonal outbursts are but i think that i  r e a l l y don't wanna know

 

**taeyugh** : trust me you don't

**taeyugh** : no amount of soap can clean the memory if taeil talking about doyoung in,,,, THAT way

**taeyugh** : fuck this is hard with kids around

 

**yuttata** : i actually find them to be quite entriguing

 

**dontyoung** : i dont even know why he does that in the group chat

**dontyoung** : like we have private messaging for a reason

 

**taeurr** : that requires effort

 

**furrylix** : wow and old person and i have something in common

 

**taeurr** : liSTEN JUST BECAUSE YOU WERE BORN 6 YEARS AFTER DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN INSULT ME LIKE THIS

 

**jaeJuan** : you're really digging your grave here felix

 

**furrylix** : oh good

**furrylix** : twas my plan all along

 

**seunggles** : what? to die?

 

**furrylix** : bingo

 

**CertifiedMom™** : definitely chan's child

 

**chittychittybangbang** : beam me up scotty

 

**taeyugh** : did you just use an old movie reference as a suicide joke

 

**furrylix** : hold on maybe he was referring to nicki minaj's mixtape

 

**leeminnow** : what's your obsession with nicki minaj

 

**furrylix** : what is there not to be obsessed with

 

**pettyjin** : are we even sure that he's gay

**pettyjin** : maybe he's just fooling us

 

**binniebinnie** : i can confirm that there is in fact no hint of het within him

 

**kunsley** : oh thank god

 

**taeurr** : listen this was great and all but

 

**dontyoung** : was it really?

 

**taeurr** : no

**taeurr** : i have responsibilities so bye

 

**jaeJuan** : doyoung's needs are a "responsibility" now?

**jaeJuan** : taeyong why don't i get this kind of treatment

 

**taeyugh** : do you really think i have time for your bullshit

 

**jaeJuan** : ouch

 

**taeurr** : yeah okay i'm leaving now stop exposing me

 

**taeurr**  has left the group chat

**dontyoung**  has left the group chat

 

**leeminnow** : doyoung didn't even say bye, rude

 

**chittychittybangbang** : i'm sure he couldn't care less about us when he has taeil waiting for him

 

**pettyjin** : gross

 

**Mr.Suh** : seo out

 

**binniebinnie** : oh good does that mean i can leave too

 

**CertifiedMom™** : no

 

**binniebinnie** : one day

 

**Mr.Suh**  has left the group chat

 

**yuttata** : i guess i'll take my leave as well

 

**taeyugh** : i was gonna say finally but i remembered this isn't our nct chat god fucking damnit

**taeyugh** : jaehyun and i will be leaving as well

 

**jaeJuan** : byebye

 

**yuttata**  has left the group chat

**taeyugh**  has left the group chat

**jaeJuan**  has left the group chat

 

**kunsley** : i have single gay chinese mom duties to attend to goodbye

 

**kunsley**  has left the group chat

 

**maknaehyung** : and then there were nine

 

**seunggles** : and can it STAY nine please

**seunggles** : i'm tired of these messes

 

**pettyjin** : i endorse that request

 

**furrylix** : no promises ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i need to stop adding nct to this fic
> 
> but we gotta love mixed parental line + yuta
> 
> this is literally my worst chapter
> 
> i made so many sex references i'm sorry
> 
> i wanna point out how fucking hard it is to write taeyong as a mom figure when he's saying shit like twerk it bad ass into your ears
> 
> i think i listened to walk you home at least 10 times while writing this, mark's singing gets me everytime
> 
> i wanna try a random thing so comment your favorite part of this book so far and/or what you'd like to see more of in upcoming chapters! :^)


	12. тωєℓνє

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> seunggles: feels like chan just isn't apart of the nine of us anymore sfkjlsl
> 
>  
> 
> chittychittybangbang: can that be reality
> 
>  
> 
> CertifiedMom™: i agree, can that be reality
> 
>  
> 
> leeminnow: woojin is really out for chan's throat today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usernames:  
> chan: chittychittybangbang  
> woojin: CertifiedMom™  
> minho: leeminnow  
> changbin: binniebinnie  
> hyunjin: pettyjin  
> jisung: squarrel  
> felix: furrylix  
> seungmin: seunggles  
> jeongin: maknaehyung
> 
> she's back!

**furrylix** : your ass is grass and i'm gonna mow it

 

 **maknaehyung** : well that's one way to start a conversation

 

 **furrylix** : so no head?

 

 **pettyjin** : are you really gonna talk in vine references the entire time

 

 **leeminnow** : technically the first one wasn't even a vine reference

 

 **furrylix** : what the FUCK is up kyle no what did you say wHAT THE FUCK DUDE STEP THE FUCK UP KYLE

 

 **binniebinnie** : you dont even know anyone named kyle

 

 **furrylix** : this bitch empty

 

 **squarrel** : YEET

 

 **leeminnow** : oh no you summoned another crackhead

 

 **squarrel** : mothertrucker dude that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick

 

 **leeminnow** : changbin our boyfriends are dumbasses

 

 **chittychittybangbang** : didn't y'all say you were living that Single Life

 

 **binniebinnie** : you're irrelevant

 

 **CertifiedMom™** : i agree

 

 **chittychittybangbang** : you know what,, i didn't need a boyfriend anyway

 

 **CertifiedMom™** : lmao then why are you holding my hand

 

 **chittychittybangbang** : ,,,,,

 **chittychittybangbang** : bc they're soft

 

 **pettyjin** : case closed

 

 **CertifiedMom™** : all men do is lie smh

 

 **maknaehyung** : grassy ass

 

 **leeminnow** : what the fuck

 

 **seunggles** : it means thank you in spanish you uncultured swine

 

 **leeminnow** : oh, thanks

 

 **furrylix** : wow, learn something new every day

 

 **binniebinnie** : i literally don't know any of you

 

 **squarrel** : i think it's time we do some spring cleaning today y'all

 

 **maknaehyung** : ,,

 **maknaehyung** : it's august but go off dumbass

 

 **squarrel** : we've had these screen names for months now, it's time for a change

 

 **furrylix** : can we keep chittychittybangbang though

 **furrylix** : i'm so proud of that

 

 **seunggles** : i'm the one who gave him that screen name you rat

 

 **furrylix** : ,,, i'm proud of it fOR YOU uwu

 

 **seunggles** : nope you're still a rat

 

 **pettyjin** : a cheeto rat

 

 **furrylix** : my hair is pink now fuck you very much

 

 **maknaehyung** : felix SNAPPED

 

 **chittychittybangbang** : do i really h a v e to keep it

 **chittychittybangbang** : it's an eyesore

 

 **CertifiedMom™** : we're keeping it, fuck you

 

 **maknaehyung** : """language"""

 **maknaehyung** : such a bad role model for the Kids

 

 **binniebinnie** : you ARE the kid, jeongin

 

 **maknaehyung** : we're not having this discussion again changbirb

 

 **furrylix** : cHANGBIRB SLFJLASFJ

 

 **furrylix** has changed  **binniebinnie** 's name to  **changbirb**

 

 **changbirb** : fuck

 

 **squarrel** : 1 down, 7 more to go

 

 **seunggles** : feels like chan just isn't apart of the nine of us anymore sfkjlsl

 

 **chittychittybangbang** : can that be reality

 

 **CertifiedMom™** : i agree, can that be reality

 

 **leeminnow** : woojin is really out for chan's throat today

 

 **CertifiedMom™** : that's right B^)

 

 **maknaehyung** : that emoji, i think i'm gonna throw up

 

 **pettyjin** : you call that an emoji???

 **pettyjin** : what a pathetic excuse for an emoji

 

 **seunggles** : she Tried

 

 **chittychittybangbang** : okay so hey, if i ever leave to go get groceries or some shit and don't come back, don't come looking for me

 **chittychittybangbang** : just a heads up

 

 **CertifiedMom™** : and now y'all see why i'm out for his throat

 

 **changbirb** : oh trust me

 **changbirb** : we all know why

 **changbirb** : we feel your pain

 

 **squarrel** : i wanna change my screen name but i really love this one,,

 **squarrel** : jason is the Iconic Gay Squirrel, i can't disrespect him

 

 **leeminnow** : jason who

 

 **squarrel** : big brother season 17

 

 **leeminnow** : idk who that is

 

 **squarrel** : you fucking asked

 

 **seunggles** : ,,,,

 **seunggles** : moving on

 **seunggles** : if you wanna keep it then just keep it

 

 **squarrel** : :D

 **squarrel** : okay so 1 down 6 more to go

 

 **maknaehyung** : wow no jisung isn't apart of the 9 of us

 **maknaehyung** : it's a dream come true

 

 **squarrel** : i will snap your neck

 **squarrel** : softly

 **squarrel** : uwu

 

 **CertifiedMom™** : don't touch my baby

 

 **chittychittybangbang** : wow wish woojin would love me like that

 

 **furrylix** : by r5

 

 **pettyjin** : ,,,

 

 **furrylix** : or well

 **furrylix** : by rydel lynch

 

 **changbirb** : sigh

 

 **squarrel** : we love a soloist Queen

 

 **seunggles** : so about those usernames

 

 **maknaehyung** has changed their name to  **jeongout**

 

 **jeongout** : it represents my want to leave this group chat every single day

 

 **squarrel** : 2 down 5 more to gO

 

 **furrylix** : we be screaming gO

 

 **squarrel** : gO GO

 

 **leeminnow** : where did that joke even arise from

 

 **furrylix** : idk i heard the dreamies screaming it down the hall

 

 **chittychittybangbang** : taeyong needs to keep his children in check

 

 **CertifiedMom™** : taeyong claims that they're "marks clan" and he has "nothing to do with them their bullshit"

 **CertifiedMom™** : if anyone asks, you heard it from jacob, not me

 

 **squarrel** : how would y'all feel if i got a cat and named it tyler

 

 **pettyjin** : your big brother obsession is going too far

 

 **squarrel** : hey at least i'm not naming it t-nutty crispers

 **squarrel** : bc minho said no

 

 **CertifiedMom™** : no to cat in general

 **CertifiedMom™** : we already have one, its name is felix

 

 **furrylix** : meow

 

 **squarrel** : i am depresso

 

 **chittychittybangbang** : depresso espresso

 **chittychittybangbang** : my kinda coffee

 

 **pettyjin** : why are you always so suicidal

 

 **chittychittybangbang** : it's in my australian nature

 

 **furrylix** : that explains so much :o

 

 **changbirb** : oh jeez

 

 **pettyjin** : i like my women like i like my coffee

 

 **squarrel** : black?

 

 **jeongout** : i-

 

 **pettyjin** : the joke was that i don't drink coffee dumbass

 

 **changbirb** : i need to find a new boyfriend bc this one SUCKS

 

 **leeminnow** : you don't mean that

 

 **changbirb** : s-shut up

 

 **CertifiedMom™** : i'm more of a tea kinda guy

 

 **seunggles** : i like one type of tea and one type only

 

 **leeminnow** : i don't actually care but what is it

 

 **seunggles** : the kind you spill

 

 **leeminnow** : i should've just kept my mouth shut

 

 **pettyjin** : okay i just got home, who the fuck put a piece of paper that says district 9 on the front door

 

 **furrylix** : :D

 

 **pettyjin** : of course it was you, why did i even ask

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the boyz made a tiny appearance uwu
> 
> i have a love hate relationship with writing this book tbh but y'all love it and that keeps me goinG
> 
> i'm starting school tomorrow so uh,, yeah, updates will be scarce but hopefully i can update every other week? idk, we'll see
> 
> i had them change their usernames bc i started this book in what, april? may? idk, but looking at their usernames was getting,, tiring for me and i wanted a change. i kept chan's even though it's annoying to type just bc i'm so proud of it lmao. i still have 5 more i need to change but i'll figure that out next chapter, i just wanted to get this published


	13. so here's the tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> updates on what's been going on and what's to come!

hello!! i wonder if anyone who's been reading this will see this but, gonna post it anyway.

it's been about, what, 4? 5? months now and no update?

i'm so sorry!!! the fact that i haven't updated this has been eating away at me and actually really stressing me out. i have bits of some chapters  _started_ but no where near a finish.

let's get one thing ~~gay~~  straight: i have plans for this book.

i am! going to finish this! eventually :^(

i don't necessarily have an excuse, it's just been life and the fact that i have No Idea what to write for this.

yes, i have a plan. i have a storyline. i have a build up to the storyline. it's the fluffy duffy stuff in between that's supposed to make people laugh that's stressing me out.

i don't know how to be?? funny i guess?? for this book??

i've made expectations that are WAY too high for this book, but i plan on meeting them.

 

if you really enjoy reading this maybe? then continue to stay updated, but i will  _eventually_ update again. so please, root for me and look forward to that.

 

see y'all in the future!

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on twitter, @trcpalnght


End file.
